Archive for the ‘ doctors ’ Category

Recovery Vs Management

When talking about long-term conditions/impairments there is a tendency to talk about the individual being on a road to recovery. Where recovery is a mystical place in which the individual will once more be “the person they were before developing a condition/impairment”. Now that’s a huge ask! If you were to ask a non-disabled person to be like the person they were five years ago they’d struggle a lot.

I think we can look at recovery from two different angles,firstly the removal of physical impairment and then there is a mental recovery, the idea that one will forget the rubbish they’ve been through with their health and go back to being a “normal” non-disabled person. At this point though I think we have to drop the pretence that recovery is ever going to get you back to how you used to be. It is more that recovery is the road to becoming non-disabled. Something that’s not possible for many of us, and for those in doubt I’m going to look at the idea of recovery from a physical and mental standpoint now. Continue reading

Chronic Illness, Diet & Food

TW: Talk of diets, potential weight loss and eating habbits


My BMI is over 30 for a couple of reasons;

  1. I am insulin resistant as a result of PCOS, it makes gaining weight really easy
  2. Because of issues with my digestive system I will frequently go a fortnight where I really struggle to keep any food down which puts my body into starvation mode and slows my metabolism  Then when I can eat again, even if it’s just a little, I put on loads of weight (usually more than I have lost) as a direct result. 
  3. I’m not naturally skinny, never have been and that’s fine by me
  4. I would rather be happy and “overweight” than subject myself to the misery making cycle of diets & self-loathing society keeps directing me towards
I’m pretty happy with my body and my weight. Possibly more so than a lot of people raised in our slender-obsessed society. Unfortunately practically every time I visit a health care professional I have to be weighed and then lectured about my BMI. Regardless of how good my waist to hip ratio is or any other indicators of health. It wasn’t so bad before I became disabled, I didn’t see doctors often enough to care. Now I do see doctors a lot. I think it’s safe to say I’ve had more NHS appointments in the last 4 years than in the first 25 years of my life. 
I’ve hit a point where I’m too tired to fight it any more. The crushing pressure has become too much and given my other health issues it’s just too much extra for me to keep battling on against. I have grudgingly agreed to see the local “Weight Management Services”. Not because I want to loose weight but because I don’t want to spend over half of every appointment I attend talking about my size. I’m sick of it now and I really don’t have the energy to keep fighting them. So as of today I begin a very restrictive 1000 calorie per day diet. Now at 6’2″ I’m told that I should need over 2000 calories just sitting still so I imagine this will have the desired effect. I needed to have a blood test first to check it was suitable for me so I wouldn’t try doing the same unless it’s prescribed. I’m really upset with myself for agreeing to do it. I just keep reminding myself that this is why feminism & fat acceptance are so badly needed.
To try and turn this negative in to a positive I’m going to try and think about body image, weight, normalised health & beauty standards, feminism, disablism and the intersections between them. I’m also going to try to look critically at how people react to the news that I’m starting a “diet” because I suspect that there will be a lot of societal re-enforcing with regards to the “virtues” of weight loss and I’m interested in seeing first hand what it’s like. I also want to see if it effects how doctors, other professionals and strangers view my disability.
I will not talk about how much (if any) weight I loose. I will not extol the virtues of weight loss in my writing, I thoroughly believe in the Health At Every Size approach. I will try to place warnings at the top of posts so that people that want to avoid this stuff can.
I’m talking about this because as we have known for years, Fat is a feminist issue and needs to stay a feminist issue. I think it’s time to talk about how this issue intersects with disability. Many of us have bodies that often already don’t fit the societal “gold standard” of normalised health & beauty, our limbs may look different, we may not be as symmetrical as society would like us to be, we may have higher or lower BMI’s than society says we should have, some of our bodies aren’t as “under-control” as others, we may just simply not look as “healthy” as many non-disabled people. As a result we frequently are made too feel unattractive,  undesirable, morally lax and sometimes just plain grotesque, you can read a bit more here and here. We are also a group of people who often engage heavily with health services which higher exposure to government initiatives to police/concern troll body size & choice on top of it all. There is a lot more to be said on this topic but I’m not able to do it today. I’d appreciate reading your thoughts in the comments or on twitter before I write another post on this subject.

Groundhog Doctors Appointments

I am so very, very sick of having this conversation with doctors;

Doctor: “We can’t do anything more for your condition without surgery. Surgery is not an option because it is far too risky. Now it’s just a case of finding ways to manage your condition, like pacing. Let’s talk about what would help.”

I get some aids/medication to help and I go away and practice pacing. I come back 6 months to a year later.

Me: “Now that I’m not focused on trying to find a cure I’ve come a long way in managing my condition. I’ve used [x] aid to help with pacing & [y&z] medication have really helped. I’m feeling a lot better and doing a lot more.”

Doctor: “We don’t want you to become reliant on your aids or medication! What would happen if you suddenly got better?”

Me: “…but you said that I wouldn’t and that we needed to focus on management now.”

Doctor: “Don’t be defeatist. That’s a very negative attitude to take. How is your mental health? How about I send you to see Dr/Nurse So-and-so to talk about other interventions.”

I go to see the new Dr/Nurse and then come back to visit my Doctor to get the results.

Doctor: “We can’t do anything more for your condition without surgery. Surgery is not an option because it is far too risky. Now it’s just a case of finding ways to manage your condition, like pacing. Let’s talk about what would help.”

IT’S NEVER ENDING.

Even when I point out how frustrating having the same conversation is it does nothing. Bah.

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